An Open Letter to the Occupants of a House on the Nintendo Game 'Paperboy.'
Iam writing to apologize for causing damage to your property on "Tuesday," when the newspapers I was attempting to deliver accidentally broke two of your windows, overturned your garbage cans, and, most despicably, unearthed a gravestone in your front lawn. The extremely hazardous and fast-paced sidewalk of the street you live on made my adrenaline jolt, and I had no choice but to pedal away, narrowly avoiding a tornado, the Grim Reaper, and that breakdancer who hangs around your house. I'm not sure if he's identified himself as a witness to the vandalism yet, but regardless, I am sorry.
(via)
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