Aaron Taylor is a meathead

January 03, 2005 at 07:04 PM

What was ABC thinking hiring this guy as a studio personality? He never has anything intelligent to say and it's painful to watch him speak. During the Rose Bowl the most thought provoking thing he said was What's up with the cheerleaders?!

I miss Tommy Bowden.

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John Madden is a moron: Reason #5391

December 13, 2004 at 10:35 PM
John Madden

Jesus, John Madden and Al Michaels have never seen the damn swinging gate before. First they couldn't decide if it was legal and then they were shocked the center could snap it sideways like that. Um, guys we were doing that all the time in ninth grade. Morons.

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Real jobs are for suckers

December 09, 2004 at 10:56 AM

Homer Simpson expresses my thoughts on work, ever so eloquently:

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day and do it real half-assed. That's the American way!
Buy it!

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I want to play dodgeball

December 01, 2004 at 10:47 AM

It seems like fun. I need some fun exercise, going to the gym is getting really boring.

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Supercuts blows

November 01, 2004 at 08:28 AM

Supercuts sucks. I know, everyone probably already knows that.

But how do you cut a sideburn at an angle? I can understand being too stupid to make both sideburns the same length, but they cut my left one at like a 45 degree angle. Unbelievable. So now I had to cut both of them short to make it straight. Morons.

Maybe it's my fault, but twelve dollars is about my price max for a haircut. It takes a total of like 12 minutes to do my hair, no way you're getting more than a dollar per minute out of me.

And thanks Christina for not even noticing.

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I've got Gmail invites

October 27, 2004 at 11:23 AM

And apparently so does everyone else.

I've still got six to give out, want one either contact me (make sure you use a valid email) or comment on this post.

Update: I'm all out. I gave two out through here and the rest through Orangebloods.

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Jewfros are cool

October 25, 2004 at 08:53 PM

One of the random members of Linkin Park has a nice little jewfro going, he needs to grow it out more though before I give a damn about him. Damn the RMA's suck, they got like the two worst members of the group.

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The UPS guy

October 21, 2004 at 09:12 PM
The Crocodile Hunter

The UPS guy that comes by work every day is a dead ringer for The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin.

He's about 5'7" and wears that stupid brown uniform and goes with the shorts over the pants. Nice choice. The uniform looks like a browner version of a safari outfit.

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WTF is stumping?

October 21, 2004 at 09:06 AM

"Kerry stumps in Ohio" and "Cowboys officials stump in preparation for stadium vote," since when is stumping a political term? According to Dictionary.com:

To go about making political speeches.

I've seen or heard the word stumps used like this 100 times in the last week, but I had never heard it before that. Is it suddenly clever to use it?

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Why can't I win an island?

October 20, 2004 at 06:03 PM

I know Texas kicks the rest of the loser states' asses, but why does that mean I can't win my own damn island?

Capital One has included a scratch-off card inside junk mail that I probably wouldn't open anyways, that could allow you to win your own private island or one of a bunch of tropical vacations. But if you watch the fine print closely in the commercial, you'll see this bull crap:

Game open only to legal residents of the U.S., its territories and possessions (excluding residents of TX and Puerto Rico), 21 years of age or older at time of entry.

I mean come on, PR is already an island (albeit a pretty crappy one) so I can see them not getting a chance. Hell, even Hawaii residents get a shot. Texas really should secede.

I hate you Capital One, and your damn contest!

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