San Diego Chargers are on the clock...

And should take Eli Manning (who's real first name is Elisha) just to piss him the fuck off. What a bunch of morons. I've thought he was overrated throughout college because of his last name, and I think he still is. Yeah, he's very good. But I think Phillip Rivers and Ben Roethlisberger have just as much chance to be NFL stars. Whatever happens, all this shit has just made Eli and his entire family look bad.

The San Diego Chargers select...

Eli Manning, quarterback, Mississippi.

Weahhh! WEAHHH! Poor Eli acted like a baby. And now he has to deal with his actions. I think this is the right pick by the Chargers, they had no choice. They have the first pick, they had to choose the player with the most value to their team. Whether it's as a player or as trade bait. And tell the ESPN dumbasses to shut up about how sad this is for Eli. And quit making San Diego look like the bad guys. It's like if someone's child was acting bad in school, and the parents got mad at the teacher for telling them their child was a shit head.

ELI SUCKS! ELI SUCKS! ELI SUCKS!

The Raiders are on the clock, this is one of the most interesting picks to me. They want Roy and want him bad, but they may be able to trade down and still get him. So we'll see what they decide to do. It'll be weird to root for the Raiders, but if Roy is there I certainly will.

The Oakland Raiders select...

Robert Gallery, tackle, Iowa.

That sucks for Roy, he probably slides all the way down to between 7 and 9 now. Decent pick for the Raiders though. They're so damn old though, they need more than an offensive lineman. Jerry Rice is like 58 years old. Plus Gallery is just nasty. That ugly mug isn't exactly going to sell tickets or merchandise.

This could open up the NY Giants trading for Eli Manning, since Gallery was the other guy they might want.

Arizona Cardinals are on the clock. This is almost guaranteed to be Larry Fitzgerald, a great WR and he's known Cardinals' coach Dennis Green forever.

The Arizona Cardinals select...

Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Pitt.

No surprise here. He seems like a good kid too. Hopefully Roy shows everyone he was the best receiver, but I hope this guy succeeds as well.

The New York Giants are on the clock. I've got no idea what they're gonna do. Trade for Manning? Take Rivers and keep him? Trade down? They've got several needs other than QB, so we'll see.

The New York Giants select...

Phillip Rivers, quarterback, North Carolina State.

ESPN is claiming this confirms that the Chargers are trading Manning to the Giants for Rivers. The Chargers highest rated QB in the draft was Rivers, while NY had Manning number one and Roethlisberger number two. I hope the trade goes down, that way Eli can go to New York and fail on the nation's biggest stage.

The Washington Redskins are on the clock. They seem to be leaning to either of the two Miami guys, Kellen Winslow Jr. or Sean Taylor.

The Washington Redskins select...

Sean Taylor, S, Miami.

Ok, expected pick. But holy shit what a stupid trade. The Chargers just raped the Giants. They got their man in Rivers, a third this year, and a first and fifth round pick next year. Wow. That's going to be great for them. Huge. Now Manning is going to have even more to live up to and even more pressure on him. I feel bad for Taylor, no one's said a single damn word about him.

The Lions are on the clock. They're probably going to take Winslow to add a tight end to their "franchise" QB Joey Harrington and WR Charles Rogers. Nice little start to build an offense around if that's who they do pick.

The Cleveland Browns select...

Kellen Winslow Jr., TE, Miami.

Okay, so I was right about the player and wrong about the team. The Browns traded up one to take him. Sounds like the Lions are more interested in Roy Williams or trading down again. Winslow should be a bad ass for many years to come if he shuts his damn mouth.

The Lions are on the clock (for now).

Posted in Sports