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Brooster the Rooster

July 21, 2004 at 09:50 AM

A farmer had 200 hens but no rooster. He wanted chicks, so he asked a neighbor if he had a rooster for sale. "Well, I have one, but he's expensive," the neighbor said. "His name is Brooster. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

The farmer brought Brooster, took him home, set him down in the barnyard and gave him a pep talk. "Brooster," the farmer said, "I want you to pace yourself. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. I don't want you to run out of steam early, so take your time."

Brooster the Rooster nodded, so the farmer pointed towards the henhouse. Brooster took off and nailed every hen three or four times. The farmer was shocked. He was even more shocked when he heard a commotion in the duck pen. He went inside and, sure enough, Brooster was in there screwing the ducks. Later the farmer saw Brooster chasing after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again Brooster did them all. And at sunset the farmer saw Brooster out in the fields chasing quail and pheasant. The farmer was troubled, worried that his expensive rooster wouldn't last another day.

The farmer went to bed, and when he woke the next day his worst fears had come true. There was Brooster the Rooster lying in the middle of the yard, buzzards circling overhead. The farmer, distraught at the loss of such an expensive bird, knelt beside Brooster and cried, "Oh, Brooster, why wouldn't you listen? I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down. Now look at what you've done to yourself."

Brooster opened one eye, nodded toward the buzzards and said, "Shhh, they're getting closer..."

Posted in Humor

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